Unfortunately, the fact that you're even answering this question (or currently breathing without the aid of a respirator), is a sign of productivity. That's okay. Not everyone is born lazy. While some of us can watch Blossom for six hours straight without throwing up or going to the bathroom, others have a hard time avoiding even the simplest tasks such as bathing, shaving, or changing one's clothes. These people, sadly, are motivated and beyond our help. Still unsure if you fall into this category? Here's the Lazy Test to help you find out:
If your second floor apartment is currently on fire and there are only two exits (the stairwell which is ten feet away and the window which is two feet away) what do you do?
A) run ten feet to the door and then safely down the stairs
B) wait for someone to break in, hoist you on their shoulders, and then carry you ten feet and then safely down the stairs
C) think about the physical exertion it will take to walk the ten feet, decide it's too much, and then jump out the window
D) do not pass go, do not collect $200
E) wonder if Greg and Marcia Brady had a sordid incestuous relationship from 1967-1972
F) um... what was the question again?
B) wait for someone to break in, hoist you on their shoulders, and then carry you ten feet and then safely down the stairs
C) think about the physical exertion it will take to walk the ten feet, decide it's too much, and then jump out the window
D) do not pass go, do not collect $200
E) wonder if Greg and Marcia Brady had a sordid incestuous relationship from 1967-1972
F) um... what was the question again?
If you answered A), B), C), or D) you have passing interest in life and possibly even a heartbeat.
Sorry, you're just not lazy. If you answered E) you're on the right track, but not quite there. DON'T GIVE UP!!!
The correct answer is F). I would tell you why, but I really don't know what I'm talking about.
